Visas?... Check! Potty training?...

...Well, we're working on that.  Samuel is really doing great for a 26-month-old boy.  It wasn't a specific goal of ours prior to the China trip, but he started showing some interest and some control so we decided to go for it.  It would be great to only have one child in diapers when we return.  Also gives me another reason to be glad we aren't planning to bring the boys with us, because from what I hear about the public restrooms in China...  let's just say I'd rather have a toddler in diapers than one who needed to use a "squatty potty" in a big hurry.

Our passports arrived back today from the Chinese Consulate in Houston with our travel visas stamped inside.  They're actually very cool-looking.  I've never traveled to a country that required a visa to be issued in advance - I actually remember being rather disappointed during my first couple of trips to Europe that I acquired so few stamps in my passport.  Customs agents in European countries practically yawn when handed an American passport.  The stamps they give (when they bother to give them) aren't a whole lot more exciting than the due-date reminders I remember receiving in my library books back in elementary school.  The Chinese visas, on the other hand, are quite pretty and very official-looking - nice mementos of our upcoming journey, permanently affixed to our passports.  (They also were not cheap, which is, of course, the flip side.  Apparently, China increased the visa fee for U.S. citizens in response to the U.S. State Department charging Chinese citizens more for American visas.  Ah, isn't diplomacy grand?)

Expecting our Article 5 to be issued by the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou on June 2nd or so...  travel approvals are taking just over 2 weeks right now... we're getting very close - and I realized just the other day that I don't think we have ANY MORE PAPERWORK to fill out prior to our trip.  Other than updating our wills.  And signing power of attorney for the boys' medical care over to our parents while we're away.  Gulp.  Those are the things I don't like to think about.           

Cabled!

We received an email today letting us know that our file was sent from the National Visa Center to the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou.  The letter was dated yesterday, and the files are sent electronically ("cabled") - so this email means that our agency's staff in Guangzhou can now hand-deliver our remaining paperwork to the consulate and the consulate will issue our Article 5 in two weeks.  (The Article 5 letter is the consulate's official documentation that our immigration paperwork has been approved for the adoption and that Ellie is eligible to receive a visa to come to the U.S.)  The Article 5 letter will be picked up by our agency staff, overnighted to Beijing, then delivered to the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption Affairs.  Our travel approval will (hopefully) be issued 2 - 3 weeks later.

We should have our own travel visas soon, and we're starting to think about the best way to book our flights.  Ideally we would use our Delta Skymiles - at least for an upgrade on the way there, when we'll be flying child-free and might actually get some rest - but we may not have enough advance notice to be able to do that.  The Asian airlines generally have a better reputation for service, accomodations, etc. - Korean Air in particular is well-liked by people who've used them to travel to China.  Korean Air and Delta do "partner" on certain routes, so we'll have to see if we can take advantage of that.  We won't purchase a ticket for Ellie on the return flight, since we won't have a car seat with us anyway - so the priority will be trying to reserve the "bulkhead" seats at the front of the coach cabin, which are coveted by families traveling with small children because there is a lot more space and no risk of incurring the wrath of the travelers seated in front of you due to your child's restless feet bumping the seatbacks.  :)  (People who've never traveled with young children don't realize how hard it can be to keep those little feet away from the seat in front of them.  Especially when you're using a car seat (which we have always done when traveling with a toddler, because it is safer and, in spite of the hassle of lugging it on the plane, in my experience it generally makes things much more sane once you're settled) - those little feet are mere inches from the seat back, and once a child figures out how much fun it is to kick that seat, you literally have to hold their feet down to keep them from doing it.  Which often produces the equally-annoying screams of protest.  For the record, though, we have gotten a lot more compliments when flying with our children than we have dirty looks, although I have found - mostly from observing how people react to other people's children, even before I had kids myself - that some passengers are determined to be annoyed as soon as they see a young child sitting near them on the plane.  And, of course, there are those parents who do little or nothing to try and prevent their children from being a nuisance to those around them.  It's a tricky situation, because you don't want to ruin someone else's flight - but if your child is crying inconsolably or writhing uncontrollably there's often not a whole lot you can do at 35,000 feet with the seat belt light illuminated and the flight attendants blocking the aisle with the beverage cart.  Except, maybe, you can buy drinks for everyone seated around you - and two for yourself.  :) )

It's going to be interesting...

Provisional Approval

We received an email from our USCIS officer letting us know that she was approving our I800 application effective yesterday (May 9th), and that the National Visa Center should have our file by the beginning of next week.  From there, our information will be forwarded electronically by the end of next week to the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou.  Once the consulate has our information, we should receive travel approval about 6 weeks later.

I'm relying a lot on incredibly detailed charts kept by amazingly conscientious and tech-savvy adoptive parents who painstakingly record timing stats submitted by the rest of us, who sit anxiously by hanging on every approval (whether it's ours or someone else's).  The funny part is, it's pretty darn close to what our agency has been telling us all along - we'll travel 11-15 weeks after our I800 was sent.  It's looking more and more like mid-July! 

Still waiting...

I should know better by now than to expect something from the U.S. government by a certain date (other than a tax bill, that is).  Mother's Day arrived without the I800 approval we'd been hoping for - but according to the timelines of other adoptive parents who are just ahead of us in the paperchase, we should receive it soon.  (The internet, by the way, is an amazing thing.  I have made so many helpful contacts and long-distance friendships during our adoption journey, mostly via the internet.  I sometimes wonder what this process was like for parents prior to chat groups, blogs and email.  It's hard to imagine...)

There was an adorable little girl at Mass this morning - a rambunctious, 16-month-old Chinese cutie.  (I had a chance to speak with her mother while we were both in the vestibule with our toddlers, who needed a little break from Mass.)  Patrick had noticed her as we took our seats at church, remarking how pretty she was in her little brown sundress and jeweled sandals, running up the aisle with her father close behind.  I realized that she is probably about the same size as our daughter, and my heart ached a little that Ellie is not here.  Samuel was quite taken with the little spitfire during our brief stay in the vestibule - he just stared at her while she proceeded to take away the children's bible he had in his hands, never protesting and never taking his eyes off her.  He may as well get used to having a little sister to contend with!

We spent some time this weekend fixing up Ellie's room.  I'm not much of a girly-girl, but I have to admit that it's been fun decorating in shades of pink and purple!  We've gotten lucky with some hand-me-downs and Craig's List/garage sale items, but I splurged on some bedding from Land of Nod.  (It had some ladybugs on it - couldn't help myself.  I found it before we received our match with Ellie.  More on ladybugs and adoption here.)  I'll post pictures when Ellie's room is all done - we're just waiting on some curtains I ordered, after a lengthy search for reasonably-priced blackout curtains for her east-facing room that would complement the bedding.  (For what it's worth, the whole "nesting" experience is not that different from being pregnant.  There's just a lot more to worry about in terms of the paperwork, travel timing and preparations -  and most of all, having to be away from the boys for two weeks.  So that puts a bit of a damper on the excitement, but at least I don't have random people touching my belly and exclaiming, "Haven't you had that baby yet?" or any of the other inane comments pregnant women have to endure.  It's a good trade-off.)

Keeping our fingers crossed for our I800 Provisional Approval this week - once we receive that, the latest timing stats put our travel approval about 7 weeks away, with our trip occurring 1 to 2 weeks later.  We're sending out our visa applications this week - can't wait to see the stamps on our passports, giving us permission to enter China...

Slow boat to China

I remember my mother sometimes using that expression, and as a child I always wondered what it meant.  Now I think I know - or at least it has taken on its own meaning in our lives, for it often feels as though that is what we are on.  The next few steps are tedious and somewhat unpredictable in terms of timing, but here's what we're looking at - beginning from the filing date of our I800, which was April 20...

I800 Provisional Approval (this is the USCIS giving us approval to bring Ellie to the U.S. - the final approval will be her visa, which is issued by the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou during the 2nd week of our stay in China) - We should receive this in 15 to 20 days.

National Visa Center Letter - Notification that the NVC has sent our immigration information to the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou - approximately 10-15 days after the I800 is approved.

Article 5 - Notification from the U.S. Consulate to the Chinese Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption that our immigration approval has been granted - takes about 15-20 days after the NVC letter.

Travel approval - The Chinese government's official permission for us to come to China for the adoption - usually issued about 2-3 weeks after the Article 5 is submitted to the CCCWA.

On the short end, it's about 8 weeks to travel approval.  If things move a little slower, it could be 11 or 12.  Most families travel about 2 weeks or so after their TA is issued, as it takes time to schedule an appointment at the consulate in Guangzhou and plan the rest of the itinerary around that.  (The consulate appointment occurs a day or two prior to returning to the U.S.  Ellie will travel on her Chinese passport with a U.S. visa.  Once we arrive in the U.S., she will be an American citizen.)

So we'll have to wait and see how long each step takes.  It's a bit of a roller coaster really, because it's so exciting to receive an approval and send in the next batch of paperwork, only to find yourself right back in waiting mode again.  In the meantime, I'm trying to plan our summer and gather travel tips from families who have adopted already.  I know once the time comes it will be a mad dash to get ready for our trip - and I will never feel completely ready, even though right now the wait seems so long and I wish we could get on a plane tomorrow.

Ellie may have her palate repaired sometime this month.  We won't know for sure unless we receive an update from our agency, but it was mentioned in her surgery report from last October that the palate repair would be done "in six months".  We're not sure if those plans will change now that Ellie is being adopted, but either way is fine with us.  We know the charity that is caring for her finds really good doctors to operate on their kiddos, and having her palate repaired earlier would certainly have its advantages in terms of diet and speech.  But if we end up doing it here with our own doctors who will treat Ellie for years to come, that would be great too.  And we have learned from other parents of children who were adopted through the special needs program that the initial surgery can be a very powerful bonding experience, because the child learns to receive comfort from her parents and that she can trust them to care for her.

Our hope is to have the I800 by Mother's Day (May 8).  What a great present that would be!    

Got it!

We have our I800A approval!!!  (Also inexplicably known as an I797 - don't you just love the government?)  Our agency will let us know what to do next - so now I'm waiting by the phone, which is a little more convenient than waiting by the mailbox.  :)

Our agency's official estimate is that we will travel in 11 to 15 weeks.  The word on the street, however, is that it probably will be a little sooner than that - maybe 8 to 10 weeks.  Yippee!!! 

From another blog...

Here is a link to an excellent post concerning research findings about the self-esteem of children who were adopted.  Contrary to some rather stubborn cultural perceptions of adoption in general and adoptees in particular, many studies have found that children who were adopted - including those adopted transracially - do just fine when it comes to self-esteem as compared to their non-adopted peers.  The myth of the "troubled adoptee" appears to truly be a myth.  That's not to say that children who were adopted are not at risk for certain difficulties, language and learning problems being the most common.  What it does show is that all children face potential difficulties with identity and self-esteem, and children who were adopted are not at greater risk for problems in those areas than anyone else.

Anyway, read the post if it interests you.  I like reading stuff like this because it reaffirms my faith in the resilience of the human spirit, that we are more than the sum of what has happened to us, and that love is powerful.