It's hot. We're all tired. The house is cluttered, which drives me nuts. The kids are cranky and bored. We could all use a vacation, but I'm afraid that's not going to happen anytime soon. Blah.
I think no matter how you add a child to your family, the first few months really suck. Sure, there are lots of happy firsts, and we've certainly had our share of smiles getting to know Ellie and enjoying our three children. But there's still a lot of adjusting to do, and quite honestly I have never worked harder in my life than I have these past few weeks. And there is no sign of a break.
Samuel continues to struggle mightily in his new position as middle child, and while it's totally normal and assuredly temporary, it is hard to watch him be so miserable. Not to mention listen to all the whining. He is acting out in every possible way, including being aggressive toward Ellie which is hard to deal with. I miss my smiley, goofy, happy-go-lucky boy. Patrick is great with Ellie and generally tries to be helpful, but he seems to have decided to spend the last few weeks of summer honing his debating skills in preparation for first grade. He really, really needs to go back to school. Ellie is doing incredibly well, but has started getting up really early in the morning (a Warren trait she's quickly acquired), so I'm starting each day with a child in my arms before I've even had a chance to brush my teeth. I haven't had a full, hot cup of coffee in weeks.
One bright spot in our efforts to survive these first few weeks has been the tremendous blessing of food from our friends and family. My mom and mother-in-law left food in the freezer for us, and a number of friends have brought us dinner since we've been home. What a great gift in the midst of our own little chaos every evening.
Without wishing away the time completely, I do have to try to look forward a little just to keep my sanity. In the short term, I'm looking forward to my dad's visit this coming week, school starting for Patrick and Samuel, and Ellie getting more and more comfortable every day. Maybe even sleeping in a little once again. In the long term, I think our spirits will lift once the temperatures begin to drop and we can spend more time outdoors. Fall is such a fun time of year, and we'll get some family time at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Seems like a long way off right now, but as they say, the days are long but the years are short when your children are young, and someday soon this time of adjustment will seem like a dream - and a not-so-bad one at that.
Oh, girl, I feel ya! We've been home about 11 days and some days are TOUGH. "Sucks" is a very appropriate word. The lack of sleep, adjusting, attachment work, lack of sleep...Did I mention that yet? We were so happy to have had friends who did this before us be honest with us, like you're being honest here. They told us we would get home and wonder, "What have we done?!"
ReplyDeleteWe have NO regrets, but it's not easy for sure. And I agree with the meals. They are a true, priceless gift!
Hang in there, those same friends who wanted to turn and run say it DOES get better and there are breaks and breakthroughs and it's worth every minute.
Prayers for you while you adjust to your new normal.
I don't think there's ANY parent who doesn't sit around in mid-August, wondering when it's time for school to start again! LOL. YOU just have it a million times harder right now. Baby steps, right? When you and I connected a few months ago, I'm sure it seemed like we'd never get to where we are now. And in a few MORE months, you'll look back at this time and see how far you've come!! Day by day...
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