...with apologies to Wally Lamb, whose book by the same title I haven't read - but my husband was reading it at around the same time I started this blog, and it seemed appropriate...

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

"What happened to her parents?"

Wow.  Wasn't really ready for someone I'd JUST MET to ask me that question about Ellie.  The answer I gave - "We don't know" - is true, and frankly about as much as this person was entitled to hear even if it weren't.  (I suppose a snarky, adoption-minded reply would have been, "Why, nothing has happened to her parents - her dad is at work and I'm right here."  But I never think of those zingers at the right time, and even if I did I'd probably be too chicken to use them.  Damn.)

The sad fact is that we don't have any information about Ellie's birth parents.  There is no legal channel for parents to place their children for adoption in China.  The children are relinquished anonymously - in other words, they are abandoned.   

We know some details of how Ellie came to be cared for by the Jiaozuo Social Welfare Institute, but as far as we're concerned, that information belongs to her and isn't ours to share.  This is a great article explaining the importance of privacy in matters related to adoption.  I'm going to re-read it and start working on my standard, gracious-but-assertive reply to nosy, annoying questions.       

1 comment:

  1. Use it when you think of it next!! I need some confidence builders so I can do it when I need to!!

    ReplyDelete